From soup to suicide: The true story of Maggie Lark

"Okay, interesting title, so, what's it about?"

"I don't know man. I figure I've got the title, I'll just work back from there."

"So no characters, no locations, no plot, no anything, just a title?"

"There's a character! There's Maggie, Maggie Lark."

"And who is Maggie, what does she do, how does she act in certain situations? What's her dog's name?"

"Fuck, I don't know, I'll make it up later."

"You always do this, you know? You make up a title for a story that sounds really intriguing, possibly quite interesting and then that's it. It never goes any further."

"That's not true, remember 'The tear of death: A rope of sand'? I got that published."

"I do remember that particular title. You did get it published, chapter one of what was to be a twelve part series, if I recall correctly? How did the other eleven go?"

"Don't be snarky about it, okay? I'll get around to it eventually, I've got all the characters and plot details up here."

"It's no good them being up there, they need to be on paper."

"I will. I'll get around to it."

"Before or after chronicling the adventures of Maggie and her suicidal soup."

"It wasn't suicidal soup, don't be daft! I think it'd just be cool little story, how the world passes by and people don't really stop to think that one day you can be sitting there, happy and content, enjoying a bowl of a soup and then the next day, or even that evening, be suicidal."

"And that's what happens to this Maggie character?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I figure I could work in this angle where she's eating different soups on different days to match her mood."

"What? Like 'gazpacho soup today - feeling cold' 'minestrone - feeling confused.' Or something."

"You're just taking the piss now, aren't you?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"Well, fuck you then."

"Oh come on, don't be like that. I'll be good, I swear. So what do you mean about the soup thing then?"

"Actually, to be fair, it was what you just said...only much less sarcastic. Like she eats creamy soups on days she feels content or noodle soups on days she's feeling grumpy or whatever else and she notes it in her diary. How she was feeling, what soup she was eating. And she does this every day until she commits suicide."

"You've literally, emphasis on literally, literally just come up with that on the spot now, haven't you?"

"Is it good?"

"It's half decent. Could certainly go a lot of ways with it."

"Then does it matter if it's something I've been working on or only just come up with it now?"

"I suppose not...you'll never finish it though, you never do."

"Maybe. Maybe."